Juggalo Championship Wrestling Results
Farmington, New Mexico
Juggalos, Ninja’s, and Juggalettes it’s hard to believe that the Happy Daze tour has come to an end! It’s been great bringing you the Referee-cap of every show, and I’d like to thank everyone @ Psychopathic and the Wicked Clowns for this opportunity to report from the road on what’s really going on in JCW. To say that Farmington, New Mexico was excited about their town being chosen as the final stop of the national Happy Daze tour with the stars of JCW coming to town along with Insane Clown Posse was the understatement of the year as thousands of fans lined up hours in advance to be the first to enter the building. Those who weren’t lined up early were camped out at the hotel hoping to catch a glimpse of their favorite stars, and the remaining townsfolk just waved and shouted woop woop as the convoy of tour busses, tractor trailers and hellacious flavor and wrestling ability rolled into town.
When the doors open fans ran across the dirt floor of McGee Park to surround the guardrails around the ring and chant, throw Faygo, make new friends and kick it until bell time.
As he has on every night on the tour, JCW ring announcer Legs Diamond welcomed everyone to the show and got them primed for today’s event, and introduced the opening 4-way match between Weedman, Prodigy, FX, and KM Burnquist. There were a lot of high flyers in the ring and this one was fast paced as hell, with Weedman wisely opting to let the rookies start things out since two competitors were allowed in the ring at a time and tags were used to get in and out of the action. It was truly everyman for himself as the locals did not team up to destroy the THC fueled superstar, bur fought hard against whoever they were in the ring with but the experience of the Weedman, or perhaps the potent strain of chronic he was smoking during the match, he stayed on top of these competitors, nailing the Kief Kick, the smoke screen and several other signature spots before getting the win with his devastating Blunt Roll off the second rope onto Burnquist to a massive ovation.
Next Up the giant Mosh Pit Mike was set to do battle with Madman Pondo. Pondo seemed a bit concerned about the size of Mosh Pit Mike, as the Albuquerque native stood well over 6 and a half feet tall, and his 300 pounds of mosh pit toned body! Historically larger competitors have given Pondo a run for his money on this tour. Pondo tried from the opening bell to figure out the weakness of the big man, but his offense was brushed aside like yesterday news. Mosh Pit Mike fired back with a devastating clothesline that knocked Pondo to the mat with authority, and got a huge response from the capacity crowd. They don’t like the Madman and want to see his head kicked in, with the quickness. Mosh Pit Mike had things going his way when he missed an ill advised top tope move and Pondo was quick to capitalize with his eye gouging and choking. He set the big man up for the feared “Silencer”, and he hit it off the top rope with authority and turned the tide against the big man! An audible gasp was heard as Pondo picked up Mike in a Fireman’s carry position with ease and then drove him almost through the mat with a Death Valley driver! Madman Pondo is known to stick to his game plan, it got him where he is today. And today was no exception as he flagrantly choked his opponent right up until a moment before the 5 count from a frustrated young senior official Kevin Gill. With his opponent disorientated and blind from a top rope eye rake, he easily fell prey to Pondo’s sledgehammer which smashed a concrete cinderblock directly over the crotch of Mosh Pit Mike who screamed out in pain like a newborn baby woman and the rest was academic as Pondo had his opponent beat, but seemed to take perverse joy in Irish whipping his opponent into the ropes and then doing his best to cave in their head with his trademark sign, and a pinfall victory was only seconds away for Madman Pondo who got the duke!
Next up, the JCW heavyweight championship was on the line as Corporal Robinson defended the most important belt in out company against Canadian grappler Ruthless Wayne Thomas! Corp has said on many occasions that he does not get paid by the hour, so he is all business once his extensive entrance with the youngest manager in Professional Wrestling Violent JJ is complete, school is in session and Corp is giving out GED’s in ass-kicking like it ain’t no thing. After posing on the ropes in the corners on all 4 sides of the ring and giving props, daps, respect and photo opps to the fans at ringside, Corp got ready for action and locked up with the upstart Canadian. Corp lives his gimmick and there’s not anyone I know who loves to kick more ass than Corp. In the ring, on the road, at the truck stop or at the topless bar, the champ will leave you laid out cold snoring. Corp was on fire here, and the reason he is JCW heavyweight champion is because he wants it more than anyone, and he will beat down anyone to keep it. Corp simply devastated the challenger, and perhaps Ruthless Wayne could benefit from a little more seasoning, as he was not prepared for the hard hitting offense of Corporal Robinson. Boot Camp finished off this Canadian competitor with ease, leaving Corporal Robinson and Violent JJ to celebrate the final night of the tour. Without warning an unspeakable sound blared through the sound system and JCW tag team champions The Haters menacingly entered the ringside and taunted Robinson and his Manager. At the direction of Corporal Robinson, Senior Official Kevin Gill quickly escorted the Young Thug Violent JJ backstage while Robinson stood up to these haters, who were clearly trying to steal his shine. While Corp started opening a can of kick ass on The Haters, the #’s game eventually caught up to him, and he was in trouble. The Haters began taping Corp to the top rope so they could continue their assault. A second ref ran out to try to talk some sense into the Haters, but they rewarded his peaceful contribution with a stiff belt shot to the face and an assisted power bomb off the top rope. They threw him out of the ring and as his blood soaked into the dirt floor of the McGee Park, the crowd wondered if they were seeing the end of Corporal Robinson. Vito and Pauly brutally pummeled the champion without mercy. When all hope was lost, 45 pounds of flavor Violent JJ ran through the entranceway and down to ringside to stand with Corp against their common enemy. Before entering the ring, JJ took the time to pick up a bottle of Faygo and spray it around the fans at ringside before hurling it into the crowd. He then entered the ring and stared down The Haters. The Haters went for a power bomb on the managerial genius but JJ fired off furious right hands and ended up hitting a Hurricanrana on Pauly to massive ovation! JJ then unleashed a devastating beating on his enemies pummeling the faces of the Haters with kicks and punches, and even a low blow for good measure! The Weedman joined the fray, bringing with him Senior Official Kevin Gill, and this was now a Tag Team Grudge Match (Non Title). With righteous rage on their side and the crowd behind them Weedman and Corp finished what JJ started and beat down the haters despite Robinson being hit with a devastating lung blower. Weedman hit the 420 splash, and Corp unleashed the Super kick into the Boot camp, before Violent JJ ascended the ropes and delivered a crushing double knee into the ribs of Pauly. The crowd chanted one more time, and JCW always gives the fans what they want, so JJ climbed the ropes once again, and this time gestured to his elbow, before dropping a picture perfect elbow drop onto Vito! Robinson, Weedman, and JJ covered their opponents for the 3 count and celebrated the end of the tour in style with the 3 combatants posing on the turnbuckles with all of the JCW gold while the Haters staggered to the back, hoping to fight another day.
JCW Quick Results
Farmington, New Mexico
Weedman defeated. Prodigy, FX, and KM Burnquist in a fatal four way.
Madman Pondo Defeated Mosh Pit Mike
JCW Heavyweight Chaampionship:
Corporal Robinson Defeated. Ruthless Wayne Thomas
Tag Team Non Title Match:
Corporal Robinson W/Violent JJ and The Weedman defeated The Haters
See you at the Gathering and MMFCL!
JCW Senior Official
For more information on JCW please check out www.juggalowrestling.com
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